It’s funny how the days we dread the most, are the days that end up working out the best. You can tell yourself that a day is going to go a certain way, and that someone is going to act one way, and then, they surprise you.
No matter how much we try to plan for things to happen, and tell ourselves we know for sure that THIS is how it’s going to happen, it usually never does. God works in mysterious ways, and we think we know it all, until he shows us how wrong we are.
I try to live my life with no regrets, and tell myself that everything is going to work out exactly like it is supposed to, which obviously it will, but there is never a time I don’t wonder why some things happen the way they do. People say you have to let go in order to grow, but what happens when you truly think you’ve let go and you really want to, but you honestly feel like God is the one not letting you?
I do not question God’s intentions in the way that I do not trust him, but I have become so skeptical as to why certain situations play out the way they do. If I am supposed to let go and move on with my life, then why does God keep bringing people into my life and making my thoughts go crazy?
For the past year and a half I have told myself I hate him and wish he never came back in my life and things would finally just end. I tell myself he is an asshole and I deserve way better, but then being around him by myself for the first time, my entire opinion changed again…..
I will never understand why I am the person that he cannot bring himself to hate or even be mean to, and I don’t think he will ever know or understand it either. I only God would help me to understand why this time feels so different. I wish more than anything that I could meet someone that makes me forget all about the past, but sometimes I think God isn’t bringing anyone new into my life because that person is already in my life.
It’s completely true that the best prayers go unanswered, but sometimes I wish the lessons they provide would just hurry up and get here!!
One day can change everything and change your entire mindset and outlook on a situation and I think it was that day….