“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 

- Bob Marley 

I’m not supossed to want to love you no more, no more cards and flowers no more knocks on your door, just forget the perfect love that we had, but I don’t know if I can do that. 

I was so certain baby you were the one, that this was it and all my searchin was done. I should admit you don’t get used to the facts but I don’t know if I can do that. I dont know if I can do that. 

I dont know how I’ll ever let you go, since you’ve walked out theres so much I don’t know. 

The things I’m feelin they just wont go away, I see you out and I don’t know what to say. My friends all tell me that I oughta be glad, but I don’t know if I can do that, I don’t know if I can do that. 

I dont know how I’ll ever let you go, since you’ve walked out theres so much I don’t, so much I don’t know.

Someday somebody will really love me and he’ll be everything I thought you would be, and all I wanna do is love him back, but I don’t know if I can do that. 
I don’t know if I can do that.

I Don’t Know If I Can Do That - Luke Bryan 

The Civil Wars 

I Love The Way You Lie 

It’s funny how the days we dread the most, are the days that end up working out the best. You can tell yourself that a day is going to go a certain way, and that someone is going to act one way, and then, they surprise you.

No matter how much we try to plan for things to happen, and tell ourselves we know for sure that THIS is how it’s going to happen, it usually never does. God works in mysterious ways, and we think we know it all, until he shows us how wrong we are.

I try to live my life with no regrets, and tell myself that everything is going to work out exactly like it is supposed to, which obviously it will, but there is never a time I don’t wonder why some things happen the way they do. People say you have to let go in order to grow, but what happens when you truly think you’ve let go and you really want to, but you honestly feel like God is the one not letting you?

I do not question God’s intentions in the way that I do not trust him, but I have become so skeptical as to why certain situations play out the way they do. If I am supposed to let go and move on with my life, then why does God keep bringing people into my life and making my thoughts go crazy?

For the past year and a half I have told myself I hate him and wish he never came back in my life and things would finally just end. I tell myself he is an asshole and I deserve way better, but then being around him by myself for the first time, my entire opinion changed again…..

I will never understand why I am the person that he cannot bring himself to hate or even be mean to, and I don’t think he will ever know or understand it either. I only God would help me to understand why this time feels so different. I wish more than anything that I could meet someone that makes me forget all about the past, but sometimes I think God isn’t bringing anyone new into my life because that person is already in my life.

It’s completely true that the best prayers go unanswered, but sometimes I wish the lessons they provide would just hurry up and get here!!

One day can change everything and change your entire mindset and outlook on a situation and I think it was that day….

There is one moment in time that can change you. One moment can make you take a second, think about your life, and decide that youre going to do things differently. Tomorrow is going to be the day you wake up and you are going to be happy….Right?

Wrong.

I have no idea where everyone got the idea that you can just tell yourself tomorrow is going to be different and then actually expect that it will be just because you said it. If we want change, we have to make it happen. Nothing happens over night. We must set a goal and work toward it. Ive always been told it takes 7 days to form a new habit and 30 days to break one. Well, looks like I got some work to do! There is never an obstacle in our lives that we are given, that we cannot actually overcome. When something extremely hard is thrown your way you have two options: overcome it or let it destroy you. All too often I have let these obstacles rip me up and tear me apart, until I realized that I was losing myself all together. I found that the more they destroyed me the more I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing. I was so lost that I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore. It wasnt fair to me that i was becoming a stranger to myself while everyone else in my life were happy and the person who broke me down the most was moving on with his life. This is when i decided that from that point on i was going to be the one to stand up on my own two feet and fight. I didnt care if anyone was hurt or torn apart by my actions, it was my turn to destroy someone. And once again I found this wasn’t the right way to go either. All I was doing was turning into the people who hurt me. I finally decided to find a happy medium between falling apart and standing tall: kneeling.

There have been too many nights in the past two years that I have literally hit my knees in tears, praying for God to help me and lead me to the path I needed to follow. Soemtimes that’s the only choice we have and the only choice we truly need. There is nothing God will not help you with. He may not answer your prayers right away or lead you to the path at that very instant but in the timing he knows is best for the plan he has for each of us, and that is the lesson I had to learn the hard way…

“I got off track, I made mistakes. Backslid my way into that place where souls get lost, lines get crossed, and the pain won’t go away. I hit my knees now here I stand; there I was, now here I am. I’m changed for the better. More smiles, less bitter. I’ve even started to forgive myself

“The average person tells 4 lies a day, and 1460 a year. A total of 88,000 by the age of 6. And the most common lie is I’m fine.”

Grey’s Anatomy 

Some days are brighter than others, colder than others, easier than others, and then of course there are days that are harder than others. Yesterday was one of those days….

I couldn’t be more proud of myself for where I have gotten in my life and the place I am in now is probably the most promising place I could be in. I have a great career ahead of me, I have an awesome support system, and the best damn friends a girl could ask for…but of course there is always the times when my heart starts to actually beat again, I think just to remind me that I am still human. 

Every girl grows up dreaming and creating the perfect image of the man they want to marry, and everyone tells you, never settle for anything less than your dream man, because he is out there somewhere. So I had my ideal dream guy that I fantasized about: a tall, tan, extremely good looking fireman who drove a nice truck, that loved me more than anything, took care of me and we were going to live happily ever after….But, what they don’t tell you is what to do when that dream guy is the first one to love you and the first one to break your heart. No one really explains that he could end up being the one person you can never have again. You never imagine that this “dream guy” is the one that makes you feel closer to death than life when he leaves and the only time you ever feel alive again is any time he is in the same room, even though he doesn’t speak to you because he has to pretend you don’t exist to tell himself he is over you. Your parents don’t tell you that the man you built yourself up to fall in love with is the one person you eventually learn to live without.

Our parents fight to keep us young and innocent because they know how fragile we can be as a girl. They know how cold and cruel the world can be and they try to protect us from anything ever hurting us, but yet they encourage us to love with hearts wide open and never pass an opportunity to love someone unconditionally. But this, this is how they have set us up for failure. They create this image in our heads of what life and love should be like, but what they don’t tell you is that this image is what is cold and cruel in the world. False ideals and expectations can lead us to believing that one person in this world is perfect for us, and the one person we are supposed to be with forever. But what they fail to mention is that we need to be happy on our own before someone else can make us happy; because if we depend on them for happiness, when they leave that happiness leaves with them. 

There are people that walk into our lives that have a bigger impact than we could ever imagine. Sometimes it is a friend, and very few times it is a long lost love. But when they come into your life and change you, you will never forget that. Ever. You may forget the way they held you, the way they kissed you, their favorite food, their smell, or even the simple image of their face, but you will never forget the way they made you feel. So when you meet this person, remember. Hold on to them. Take each and every single moment for what it’s worth. Because even the two second eye contact you make one day, can be the last time they look at you that way again. We truly do not realize what we have until it’s gone, which is why God gives us the strength to fight. Fight for what we believe in, and fight for what we love. So if it is something you love, you fight. Fight for it like you will never have it again. If not, one day you will look back and regret walking away, because once you do that the only choice you have then is to just let go.